Meghan Trainor recently opened up about her terrifying experience in the hospital shortly after the birth of her son in February 2021.
The singer welcomed her now 20-month-old son Riley with husband Daryl Sabara last year. Trainor and Sabara met and started dating in 2016 after they were set up by mutual friend Chloe Grace Moretz, eventually getting married in December 2018.
During an interview with People, Trainor detailed the week following her son’s birth. He would not wake up, and she was frustrated doctors were unable to give her and her husband answers as to why or let them know when their son’s condition would improve.
"It was just really frustrating not having an answer," the singer said. "Not having answers for why my kid didn't wake up for a week was very frustrating."
MEGHAN TRAINOR OPENS UP ABOUT ‘PANIC ATTACKS’ SHE EXPERIENCED ON LIVE TV: ‘I HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN’
Trainor was also frustrated by the fact many of the nurses were trying to convince her her son’s condition was her fault because she was on antidepressants during her pregnancy.
"They were like, 'Sometimes it happens,' and then some nurses were like, 'Well, it's because you're on antidepressants,'" Trainor said. "And I'm like, 'Yeah, but I've been told by others that it's not that.'"
The "All About That Bass" singer didn’t realize how much the whole experience affected her until discussing it with her therapist and realizing she was having nightmares about her birth experience, seeing herself being operated on during the C-section.
"[We] realized how traumatic that all was, and how I was having PTSD at nighttime when I would try to go to sleep," she said. "I would be back in the C-section, on the table."
The trauma she experienced led her to fear getting pregnant again and having to go through another scary post-birth situation. Despite her trauma, Trainor and Sabara are trying for another baby so they can give their son a sibling.
"It's scary going into another pregnancy being like, 'Well, I hope that doesn't happen again.' Do I have to change up my whole life? I don't know," she explained. "So it's infuriating."
Despite Riley’s bumpy start in life, Trainor says he is doing great and is hitting all kinds of milestones, including recognizing her as his mom and showing her affection, something Trainor is very excited about.
She explained that, up until now, her son has been a daddy’s boy. And, while he still doesn’t say "mama," he runs up and gives her big hugs, which she loves.
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"He finally knows who I am, and he gives me those running hugs. It's like my little koala. He just squeezes me so tight, and I'm like, 'Oh my God, he knows who I am, and he loves me,’" Trainor said. "Because this boy says, 'Dada,' and that's about it. So I'm like, 'Does he even know I exist?' But no, now I finally feel like he loves me, and it's the greatest feeling ever."
Trainor has never second-guessed her decision to open up about her mental health struggles as a mother, noting it’s her way of letting other moms know they aren’t alone in their feelings and that she can relate to them.
"When I talk about what I went through with my mental health stuff, or anything bad or something I struggled with, ... I was like, 'I bet there's many other moms out there that are dealing with this too,'" she said. "I'm comfortable telling my truth and talking about my personal things if it helps others, you know?"
Trainor’s newest song, "Made You Look," will premiere exclusively on the mobile gaming app Candy Crush Saga Oct. 20, and her fifth studio album, "Takin’ it Back," is set to be released Oct. 21.
