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Originally Posted On: https://mindhealing.online/anger-management
While everybody feels angry from time to time, when we suppress it or over-express it, this can become detrimental to our health and relationships.
In its simplest terms, anger is our natural response when the pursuit of our goals gets blocked. It arises from what we perceive to be unfair treatment or a threat. Whilst a certain amount of anger is normal (some studies suggest we get at least mildly angry a few times per day), it is seen as a negative emotion – So how can we manage it?
Anger is a unique negative emotion in that it makes us want to approach and confront our perceived threat, unlike other negative emotions, such as fear, sadness or shame, which make us want to hide from or run away from such threats. Frustration, contempt, outrage, fury, bitterness, and resentment are expressions of anger that we may need to manage.
Anger can be beneficial to us when managed in a controlled and positive manner.
Managing “Anger-Out”
When anger is expressed outwardly, it can lead to problems in our personal and work relationships. Others feel uncomfortable around this type of anger and may avoid people who over-express their anger in this way. When your anger is managed ineffectively and becomes too frequent or intense, anger management may be needed.
Managing “Anger In”
When we think of an angry person, we don’t usually think of those who suppress their anger. These are the people who hide the anger and don’t respond, even when they are fuming inside. “Anger In”, or anger suppression, can also have negative consequences, such as increased hypertension.
Anger Triggers
Anger will often result from such instances as imagining the worst-case scenario in a situation (awfulizing), having a low tolerance for frustration, or an attitude of resentment, hostility, and suspiciousness.
Feelings of powerlessness can also trigger anger, a violation of your personal values and feeling disrespected. We can also feel angry when we want to change something, but we find we cannot do so, or when we feel we are not being listened to, feeling powerless. We can regain a sense of power when we use this anger to restore respect, justice, and relationship reciprocity.
Anger Management Training
Anger management training involves learning to see new perspectives, practicing empathy, and practicing strategies for managing this emotion. We all benefit from different strategies to manage our anger. Those who over-express their anger can benefit from developing new cognitive skills (ways of looking at situations) and learning to reframe their experiences to regulate their anger. Someone who suppresses their anger may need to learn to communicate their anger more effectively, possibly through assertiveness training.
Techniques
- Maintain and Anger Journal
Recording your feelings of anger and what may have triggered them will help you better understand where it comes from and how it gets out of control.
- Manage your angry thoughts
Try to look at what you are angry about to reframe it to help you change what bothers you.
- Speak up for yourself
Set boundaries with others, practice assertiveness and negotiate for yourself. Try telling yourself, “there’s no harm in asking” if you feel intimidated by the idea that you shouldn’t ask for something.
While it can be an intense emotion, anger can be managed.
References
Berkowitz, L., & Harmon-Jones, E. (2004). Toward an understanding of the determinants of anger. Emotion, 4(2), 107.
Carver, C. S., & Harmon-Jones, E. (2009). Anger is an approach-related affect: evidence and implications. Psychological Bulletin, 135(2), 183.
Fives, C. J., Kong, G., Fuller, J. R., & DiGiuseppe, R. (2011). Anger, aggression, and irrational beliefs in adolescents. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 35(3), 199-208.
