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Originally Posted On: https://www.unfinishedman.com/how-to-build-back-lost-trust-with-a-partner/
Trust is the foundation of all relationships. Trust allows a couple to feel safe. It’s an essential component of a solid and lasting relationship.
Lies and broken promises can break it. Infidelity can also break trust. Data shows that it’s becoming more common as almost half of people in a relationship have had an affair.
This doesn’t mean that one can’t salvage a relationship. It can be challenging to rebuild lost trust, but it’s doable.
This guide can help you learn how to rebuild lost trust with a partner. Read on to learn how to do so.
Taking Responsibility
Having a lapse in judgment can happen. We’re all humans. If infidelity does occur, one has to take responsibility for one’s actions.
Building back lost trust starts with this step. If you were unfaithful to your spouse, you must acknowledge it. Let your partner know you did something wrong.
Take the time to apologize for the hurt you’ve caused. As you do this, you must avoid defensiveness. It’s best to avoid it so that you don’t worsen the conflict.
Don’t justify your behavior based on past actions. Doing so isn’t productive.
Being honest is the key. You must know why the bad behavior occurred. It’s important to figure out the root of the cause so that you can address it.
Communication Is a Must
It’s understandable for couples not to want to speak to each other after an act of infidelity. If you aren’t on speaking terms, you must try to reopen the lines of communication. Yes, it can be painful and uncomfortable, but it’s a must-do.
You both have to talk about the situation. Set aside time to talk about feelings. Say why the betrayal of trust is an issue.
You’ll want to tell your partner what needs to be done to rebuild the relationship. Give your partner the chance to speak, but pay attention to their sincerity.
Focus on determining if the apology is genuine. The offender needs to seem regretful. Being defensive and not owning up to the betrayal aren’t good signs.
If you start to feel upset, you can take a break from the conversation. You should also do this if you start to feel emotional. It isn’t productive to communicate like this, so revisit the conversation later.
Refine Your Communication Style
Fostering dialogue is important. It also helps to build a stronger relationship after an act of infidelity. You’ll not get anywhere if you can’t communicate with each other.
Learn how to refine your communication style. You’ll need to learn how to ask open-ended questions. Asking open-ended questions promotes intimate dialogue.
It can also help improve emotional closeness. This way, you can connect and better express your feelings. The goal is to air grievances.
Have a Willingness to Work on the Relationship
You can’t build back lost trust overnight. It’s a process that can take time. A couple needs to have the will to work on their relationship.
This means showing commitment to the relationship. Acts of empathy can help in the healing process. These acts include sharing pain and anger as well as showing regret.
Be Willing to Forgive
After being cheated on, you must decide if you’ll forgive. Forgiveness is the key to repairing a broken relationship.
It’s possible to forgive. About 70% of couples stay together after an affair.
If you forgive your partner, you’ll also have to forgive yourself. This will allow you to have peace moving forward. This requires you to have empathy and understanding.
Keep in mind that forgiveness is a choice. It isn’t the same as telling your partner their actions are acceptable.
Forgiving your partner gives you the chance to empower yourself. It’ll allow you to come to terms with the situation so that you leave it in the past.
There’s one thing that you can’t do when forgiving your significant other. Don’t blame yourself for what happened. This is a mistake that can lead you to experience self-doubt.
Be Willing to Be Vulnerable
Just like you have to be willing to forgive, you must also be willing to be vulnerable. In relationships, there’s strength in vulnerability. It isn’t a bad thing.
You must be able to let your guard down. You’ll also have to put your ego aside.
If you’re able to achieve this, you can increase intimacy. You’ll have the opportunity to create intimate moments. These moments can help support and rebuild what you had before.
Focus on the Future
Dwelling on the past is never good. This is the case with infidelity. After you talk about it with your partner, it’s time to move on and focus on the future.
Putting the issue to bed is something you’ll both need to do. Focus on what’s ahead as you continue working on your relationship.
It’s a good idea to design a plan for your future. Create a vision that will help you both become a better couple.
Seeking Professional Help
You don’t have to do it alone. If you have trouble getting back the trust you lost, you should reach out for help.
Therapists can help couples who seek to get their relationship back on track. Marriage counseling is a great resource.
Think of it as a safe space where you can share your thoughts and emotions. The counselor can offer an unbiased view of the situation. The counselor can also help you and your partner work through the issues.
Need to see a professional therapist? Naya Clinics has the best therapists available to work with couples.
Building Back Lost Trust
Having to deal with infidelity is hard. If you lose trust in your partner, you must decide if you’re willing to regain it. These are practical ways you can rebuild lost trust with your partner.
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